Accepting The Season You're In
Free time is a moving target. Sometimes it stays in the same place for a while, but it always moves again.
Especially in the early days of my son’s life, it felt like there was a new “season” happening every two months. We’d get settled into a routine of sorts and then the next milestone would happen and turn everything on its head.
During the first year or two, my son would typically wake up early in the morning, so I would try to work on music and other things at night after he went to sleep. One of us would handle bed time and the other could go tidy up, do dishes, and get some time to do whatever. So that was my window to work, and it wasn’t always very long, unless I stayed up late. Which I did with relative frequency.
Enter the new season.
At the beginning of this year, my son decided that I was the chosen one to put him to sleep every night. Until now, my wife and I had been alternating between us most nights, but he became pretty vocal about his preferences and we went with it. And this kid takes a long time to put to sleep. Nine o'clock is not an uncommon exit time, especially during the week. At that point I’m basically ready for sleep myself. If you've ever put a toddler to bed, you know what I'm talking about.
I didn’t know how long this phase was going to last, but after a few months, it became clear that if I wanted to make progress on my music, I was going to have to embrace the new schedule and make some changes for myself.
Since my son was now generally sleeping until 6 or 7am, I decided that I would try getting up at 5am rather than staying up late. It was actually easier than I expected, and quickly became my new routine.
If everything goes smoothly, I can usually get anywhere from 45-90 min of time in the studio. Sure there days where my son wakes up early or just needs a few minutes of snuggles to get back to sleep for another hour, but generally, I’ve gotten my creative time back. (For now.)
There are a few big benefits to this change. One is that carving out this dedicated time for myself when everyone else is sleeping feels good because I’m not sacrificing family time to get it. It’s just me using time that is otherwise used for sleep. Even if I wasn’t working on music, I think it would still be a valuable time to take for myself.
The other benefit is that by not staying up late to work on music, I’m consciously spending more time connecting with my wife, which is important. Maintaining a healthy relationship, being a good dad, and attending to my personal projects are all important to me, so trying to find a balance is a worthy endeavor.
Now I’m feeling better about my creative practice, getting more done, and feeling better about this season we’re in. I’ve accepted that for the time being I’m the “bed time guy” and my studio time is now the early hours of the day. It’s working for all of us, and that acceptance has improved my attitude about the whole thing.
What season are you in right now? Are you fighting it or accepting things as they are and making the most of it?